Today is the first time since Friday that I can take a deep breath. I had an elephant on my chest all weekend. You see, I photographed 70+ sessions with Santa this weekend, over 100 kids! So naturally, I had a nightmare last night that my memory card wallet and camera were stolen. Clearly the dream is representative of how stressful and anxiety inducing my weekend was and also how disastrous it would have been (in my mind) if I had to do it all over again! After 16 years in this industry you’d think my pre-event nerves would be a thing of the past but NOPE!
Being a creative person is wonderful and so self fulfilling at times but doing your art as a job can be so angst ridden. Before an event, I struggle with the constant fear of letting others down, not being good enough, trendy enough, fast enough, creative enough, etc. I push through the anxiety, because after all of these years I KNOW that I will succeed, and create awesome images that most of my clients will love. Once the set up is done, the event begins. I get the camera in my hands and my anxiety subsides. Anxiety is a crazy thing. It tricks you and tries to make you fail. There is nothing that I know better than my tool (camera), my craft, working with kids, and yet time and time again my brain does this to me. It's times like these when I have to remind me of my favorite quote.
"The greater the artist, the greater the doubt. Perfect confidence is granted to the less talented as a consolation prize." Robert Hughes
The Santa Mini Sessions went great! It was very heart-warming to see many of my clients return year after year. Some of you have been with me since my first Santa minis 8 years ago! There were a lot of tears from the little ones as usual but watching the older kiddos faces light up with joy when they see the Big Guy, was just priceless and that is why I suffer through the stupid anxiety. Here are a few images from my favorite session (my son) of the weekend.
I will share more soon, as soon as I crawl out from the "editing hole of death". Wish me luck!